Monday, 1 April 2013

Ramblings of a soon-to-be Year 4 medical student

Today it finally hit me that I am starting my clinical years.

I knew it for a while now. It was looming somewhere in the back of my head and flitted around in my thoughts as I shopped for white jackets and scrubs. It was there as I made plans to cram as much fun as I could before I started, and it was there when I first got my results saying I was all clear.

Over the last few months, starting my clinical rotations felt like a dream, some far off destination on the road to completing my degree and becoming a doctor after some road bumps and potholes. However, today as I went into the Dean’s Office to switch my rotations, the reality of the situation had finally hit. I am placed in a rotation. My orientation is next week. Year 4 is no longer a dream but a definite reality that is fast approaching.

While I am excited to start a new chapter of my life and be one step closer to graduating, I can’t help but feel a bit nervous and terrified at that prospect all the same.The only analogy I can describe it to is that of jumping off a waterfall, which is the last time I felt something like this.
The good news? It’s scary but the jump is worth it in the end. (or so we like to tell ourselves to make the journey feel worthwhile lol)
More good news….On my first jump I was nervous. So was my boyfriend (I think lol). Solution? We held hands and jumped together. The point is: You are not alone in your journey. I was a bit skeptical going back out, but it feels…reassuring knowing that I am not alone with my doubts and fears. (I am not weird for all these mixed feelings! Maybe weird for other reasons. LOL) The other great thing is that you find support systems in places you never imagined once you open your eyes to that fact. As such, I am so grateful to all my friends and colleagues (new and old) who have helped me along my journey.
Suddenly the prospect of my future isn’t so scary any more. 

P.S. I wrote this on Tuesday of this week but my Tumblr/ Internet/ Electricity supply were in a mess. As of this posting, I am more concerned about packing to move back to my apartment up north in Mt Hope and less about my orientation on Tuesday. *Fingers crossed I start off rotations with Psychiatry though* 
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